I went a long time without art... 27 years to be exact. Sure, I would draw things once in a while, doodle in the margins during a boring meeting, maybe design a logo for my company softball team or something. My 'day job' required plenty of creativity and that gave me an important outlet that now realize I badly needed.
But for me, there's nothing like sitting down at the easel with a blank piece of paper in front of you, with all those possibilities bouncing around inside your head. It was daunting when I first started drawing again, but as my confidence as an artist grew that initial hesitance seemed to evolve into something more like excitement. When I stop working on an unfinished piece at the end of a day, that excitement stays with me until I resume work on it. Sometimes it's hard to focus on other things, knowing that the piece is still on the easel, just waiting to be completed.
So why did I stop for 27 years? Why did I drift away from something I love for so long? Well, that brings us back to that idea of confidence as an artist.
As a senior in high school I took a drawing class with a teacher I'd never had before. I had been drawing all my life, and from the beginning sports was a major focus of my work. I find that it's easiest to draw what you're passionate about, and from the time I could hold a crayon I was attracted to the movement, color and personality of sports. Sports always seemed like the perfect inspiration for art, though there are obviously those who may not agree. My high school art teacher was one.
She was not a sports fan and while she appreciated some of what I did, it was clear that she wasn't impressed with my choice of sports as a muse. I was not at all used to the lukewarm feedback I got while taking that class, and as a 17-year old it shook me pretty good. I was looking forward to college, trying to figure out what I might want to study. At the end of the day, I was really trying to figure out what I might try to BE. Suddenly, because I lacked the confidence in my artistic abilities to let the criticism roll off my back, being an artist seemed like an unrealistic option. I decided to major in Communications, and that was that. I was a communications major who could draw a little, but I was never going to be an artist. I never really looked back.
I suppose I was very lucky to find a career where my visual instincts would be helpful. I've spent over twenty-five years in the TV industry-- shooting, editing and directing video segments. I've achieved a lot in that field, and I suppose in some ways that kept me from realizing how much I missed drawing. Finding my voice in the TV field has given me confidence that is now paying dividends as a visual artist. But over time jobs tend to evolve, and mine evolved to the point where I needed to find a new creative outlet. More than anything, I needed to be my own boss creatively. Thanks to my kids, I rediscovered my love of drawing. (If you're interested in that whole story, it was my first post on Facebook...)
It's been amazing reconnecting with my love of drawing, and it's been way better the second time around because I have confidence in myself that I didn't have as a teenager. I know not everybody will love what I do but more importantly, I know that that's okay. Sports Art is still my passion, and I still love to sit down in front of a blank page. I am my own boss on this journey as an artist (unless you want to commission me for something... then I'm all yours!) and I'm loving every minute of it.
I hope that you have some activity in your life that brings you the joy that making art brings me. And if you once did, but you lost it somewhere along the way, it's never to late to go back and pick it up again. Trust me, I know of which I speak.
Yorumlar